Just to interject in my story, the biggest thing that hurts about this whole thing is that the girl I was courting at the church ended our relationship because I was leaving.
Now turning from that for a quick second, I talked more with leadership and they agreed that some things that I experienced in the church were out of order and they needed to inform members better about how things should be in operation. For one, I thought they believed that a true believer could lose their salvation...they don't. Second, they agreed that some of the gifts that were being displayed were in the flesh at times. Me and two other people who are leaving for the same reasons are planning to have a meeting so we can talk and make sure on what we believe and to make sure that we are leaving for the right reasons and that there is error going on. All I have to go on is my experiences and what the Word says, and a lot of stuff didn't line up with the Word.
Anyways as I stated above, the girl I was courting ended our relationship because I left which seems odd to me. I'm still a believer in Christ, she's still a believer in Christ, our personalities clicked, and we have a great friendship base...what is the problem?
I talked to her and she said that she felt because I was leaving, we weren't under the same church covenant or something like that. Now this type of talk sounds like some stories I've read of the Mormon Church where marriages have literally been broken up because one spouse decided to leave the Mormon Church. Now that's an extreme, but in the body of true believers, where does it says in the bible that two believers in Christ have to go to the same church? But she's under that impression. I also talked exclusively to the leadership of the church and they specifically told me that they don't say or believe that whoever goes to the church has to marry inside the church...that is a classic cult mindset if a church does. So I wonder where she is getting this from. I mean it's good in the sense that she said she is going to use this whole year to read her Word more and make her prayer life better because she said she needed to work on it, but like I said...I haven't abandoned God, and I wouldn't have shunned her from attending the church if she desired. I mean if we are both headed in the same direction, towards Christ, and there were no other problems in our relationship, what's the problem...end it over a church?
All in all, I figure, I know what I had to do and she said be honest and I was. Some of the things that I experienced in that church really messed with me, but now I'm finding out that my pastor agrees with some of the things I have talked about when I thought he didn't (I assumed, so it is my fault). We will see how the meeting goes whenever that happens. In terms of the ex relationship, I mean it hurts because she didn't end it over me or something about me like I changed or something. And if someone in the ministry talks to her, then fine...I just have to try to accept it and move on. It's just so hard to find a true believer seeking after God these days!! Who you also have to be compatible with, etc. But I trust that as I continue to seek God, stay in His Word, and pray, God will send a righteous woman my way when I least expect it, whether it be this current one if she decides to try to reconcile, or someone else (may be right under my nose). But I won't be actively keeping my eyes open for at least a little while. Breakups suck.